Save the Date Etiquette: Who Gets One, When, and What Not to Do
By the PixerInvite team · 6 min read · Updated 30 October 2026
The one firm rule of save the dates: everyone who receives one must receive an invitation. Joy's etiquette guide puts it simply — send an official invitation to everyone who received a save the date — so only send them once your guest list is settled. The rest is flexible: timing depends on travel, digital is fine, and plus-ones should be clear from how you address it.
Who should get a save the date?
Only people you're certain to invite. Your guest list can grow after the save the dates go out, but it can't shrink without hurt feelings — so if you're unsure about a group, wait and send them the invitation instead.
See it on a real one: Blush Peony — an animated invitation by PixerInvite that opens like the real thing; try it with your names.
What are the main save the date rules?
| Question | Rule of thumb |
|---|---|
| Do I have to send them? | No — they're optional, but helpful when guests travel or the date is busy |
| Must everyone who gets one be invited? | Yes, always |
| When? | 3–6 months before; 8–12 months for destination or holiday weekends |
| Plus-ones? | Show it in the names: "Sarah Clarke and Guest" |
| Children? | Name them if invited; leave them off if not |
| Digital? | Fine — print a few for guests who'd prefer paper |
| Venue and times? | Optional — the city is enough; details come with the invitation |
When should save the dates go out?
Three to six months before a local wedding and eight to twelve months before a destination or holiday-weekend wedding — the full timeline is in when to send save the dates.
How do you show plus-ones and children?
Through the names. "Sarah Clarke and Guest" means a plus-one; "Sarah Clarke" alone means just Sarah. Name children who are invited; if your wedding is adults-only, see adults-only wording.
Is a digital save the date okay?
Yes. Joy notes that electronic save the dates save time and money, and suggests a mix of print and digital for guests who aren't comfortable online. A digital one can also add a calendar reminder and, later, become the invitation itself.
What if the date or plans change?
Tell guests as soon as you know, the same way you sent the save the date — a short, warm note with the new date or "change of plans". With a link, update it once and everyone sees the change.
How do save the dates work on PixerInvite?
On PixerInvite, any wedding design can be sent as a save the date first: your names, the date and the city, with an optional "Can you make it?" reply of Yes, Maybe or No. It's included with your invitation — when you're ready, switch the same link to the full invitation and guests keep the link they already have. See digital save the dates.
Frequently asked questions
Do you have to invite everyone who got a save the date?
Yes. A save the date is a promise of an invitation, so only send them to guests you're certain to invite.
Are save the dates required?
No, they're optional — but they help when guests need to travel or book time off, and for busy dates such as holiday weekends.
Should a save the date mention a plus-one?
Yes, through the names — "and Guest" for a plus-one, or the partner's name.
Can I send save the dates by email or text?
Yes. Digital save the dates are common; print a few for guests who'd prefer paper.
Do save the dates need the venue?
No. The names, date and city are enough; the venue and times come with the invitation.
Can I send a save the date on PixerInvite and the invitation later?
Yes. Send any PixerInvite wedding design as a save the date, then switch the same link to the full invitation — guests keep the same link.
About PixerInvite. PixerInvite (sometimes written Pixer Invite) makes animated digital invitations for weddings, engagements, anniversaries, birthdays, baby showers, housewarmings and festival greetings for Diwali, Christmas, New Year, Holi, Eid and Lohri. Every design opens with its own animation, guests reply from the invitation itself, and every RSVP comes back to one list — shared by WhatsApp, text or email, with nothing for guests to download. See the designs at pixerinvite.com.